From: Shileta G.
Date: September 18, 2009
To: Shane P.
Subject: I Love You
Dear Shane,
I’m so at a loss for words…when moments have come and gone. I can smile due to an instant replay of memories…those moments remain vivid and timeless. I wish my heart was quick enough to heal itself so LOVE wouldn’t take as long to take hold of me…you once asked me how you could get me open…and still there is no answer I can give to but your mind or heart at ease. When I wonder about ‘us’ and a possible future…it comes with a list of uncertainties that I can’t make go away. I worry knowing that there’s things I can’t control in what we share do to circumstances and situations. I think that over the last few weeks you have shown me a side of you I never would have imagined I ever get the chance to see. I wonder if you’d go A-WOL for me like that scene in the movie This Christmas just because you LOVEd me. I wonder if those waters run that deep when you hear my voice. I’m just taken by surprise because we both know that this new found sense of understanding of one another has turned a tide of negativity into something much more profound. Even when we are texting it doesn’t seem to have the same effect as it use to. See, it no longer seems be as potent as your voice in my ear.
I think LOVE comes most beautiful in its written form and this is why I write this. I let my mind guide these words because my heart can’t define this. Shattered beyond repair so superglue won’t work to repair these wounds…these wounds will take time to heal.
But for all that you’ve told me for all that’s been expressed through words penned here in elsewhere in my honor. I’m thankful that you care.
It is with LOVE I fight this battle time and time again. So I’ve moved up in ranks…and the five stars I wear are displayed proudly Strength, Courage, Loyalty, Hope, and Faith most of all. See, LOVE knows I don’t quit but I don’t give in easy…I won’t tear down those walls I worked so hard to built…at least not yet…not until Trust is earned. I should probably add a star for Risk because just loving you is a risk I take knowingly with deeper fears of just not knowing.
It is to you I write that last paragraph because it is you who’d understand that LOVE is a scary thing and you’ve been so understanding…and for that I thank you.
Truly,
Shileta
